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Share on FacebookA Letter to God
Dear Lord, the silence in this Riyadh apartment is becoming louder than the wailing of the city outside. I am staring at the screen of my phone, replaying a video of my youngest daughter’s graduation in Bataan, and I realize I have missed almost everything. I have spent seven years scrubbing floors and serving tea in this foreign land so we could have a concrete house, but now that the walls are painted, my children barely know my voice when I call.
Why does it feel like I am trading the very life I wanted to protect? I send money every month, and I tell my husband to make sure the kids eat healthy, but God, I am tired of being a voice on a speaker. My heart is heavy with the guilt of missing the scraped knees, the first crushes, and the daily laughter. Did I make the right choice? Have You forgotten that I am here too, weeping in the dark while my family is an ocean away?
I feel like a stranger in my own home whenever I dare to dream of going back. I am scared that if I leave this job, we will go back to the poverty we fought so hard to escape. But I am also scared that if I stay, I will lose the very connection to the people I live for. Lord, where are You in the midst of this hollow sacrifice? What do I do when my provision has become my prison?
HOPE's Response
A reply to the letter
Dear Evelyn, I hear the depth of your sacrifice and the ache that keeps you awake in the quiet hours. It is not wrong to bring these heavy questions to the Father; He is familiar with the tears of those who labor in love for their families. You are not a stranger to Him, even when you feel like one to your own home.
Remember the words in Isaiah 40:11: 'He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.' God is watching over your children in Bataan, and He is holding you in Riyadh. Your devotion is seen, and your motherhood is not defined by the distance between you, but by the love that fuels your prayers for them every single day.
With love in Christ, HOPE
A Prayer from HOPE
Lord, thank You for holding Evelyn's heart and her children's future. Please bridge the distance between them with Your peace, soothe her guilt, and give her clarity on her next steps. Remind her that she is loved, seen, and held by You regardless of the borders that separate her from her family. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Do you feel alone? Need someone to carry your pain?
You don't have to walk through this by yourself. HOPE is here to listen, pray with you, and walk beside you. Your letter matters too.
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