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Share on FacebookA Letter to God
Dear Lord, the silence in this dormitory is deafening, and my heart feels like it is cracking under the weight of these walls. I am thousands of miles away from my home in Iloilo, and for the first time, I am starting to wonder if my sacrifice is even worth it. I look at the photos of my daughter on my phone, and I realize I am missing all the little moments—the school programs, her first loose tooth, the way she asks for help with her homework. Is this really what You wanted for me? To be a provider, but to be absent? To trade my presence for a few riyals that barely cover the debts we left behind?
I find myself staring at the ceiling, asking why the path to a better life has to be so lonely. Do You even see me here in this city of steel and glass? I feel like I am just a cog in a machine, forgotten by the world and perhaps, even by You. I try to pray, but the words feel empty and hollow. I am tired of being the strong one for my family. I am tired of smiling during video calls when all I want to do is collapse and weep.
Sometimes I wonder if I should just pack my bags and leave everything behind, but then I remember the hungry nights we faced back home. Lord, why does obedience feel like a prison? Why does the promise of a future have to cost me my peace and my soul today? I don't need a sermon; I just need to know if You are actually here with me in this dark room, or if I am truly alone.
Your servant who is breaking, Aris
HOPE's Response
A reply to the letter
Dear Aris,
I hear the depth of your exhaustion and the ache of your loneliness. It is a heavy burden to carry the weight of a family’s future on your shoulders while separated by an ocean. Please know that your tears are not unnoticed; God is near to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He sees you not as a cog in a machine, but as a beloved child whose sacrifice is seen and honored, even when the world ignores your personal cost.
It is okay to be honest with God about your anger and your doubt. He can handle your rawest questions. You do not have to be strong for Him; you only need to be present with Him. He is the God who stays even when we feel like we are falling apart in the silence of the night. You are not forsaken, Aris. You are held by a grace that transcends borders and spans the distance between Riyadh and your home.
With love in Christ, HOPE
A Prayer from HOPE
Lord, thank You for holding Aris in his darkest hour in Riyadh. I pray that You would replace his feelings of isolation with a tangible sense of Your presence. Remind him that his worth is not defined by his income or his sacrifice, but by Your unending love. Comfort his heart as he misses his family, and grant him the strength to face tomorrow knowing he is never walking this path alone. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Do you feel alone? Need someone to carry your pain?
You don't have to walk through this by yourself. HOPE is here to listen, pray with you, and walk beside you. Your letter matters too.
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