Silent Walls in Tokyo

Dear Lord, the walls of this tiny apartment in Tokyo are closing in on me. I stare at the neon lights outside my window, but they feel so cold compared to the warmth of my home in Iloilo. I have been here for three years working as a caregiver, and while I am grateful for the salary that helps my family, I am drowning in this silence. Why does it feel like my sacrifice is never enough? My children are growing up through screen recordings, and sometimes I wonder if they even remember the sound of my actual voice or just the digital hum of our video calls.

I find myself walking the streets at night, just to avoid sitting in this room. I miss the noise of the market back home, the smell of fresh fish frying, and the chaotic comfort of my family sitting together on our porch. Lord, have You forgotten me in this concrete maze? I am doing everything right—I send my remittances on time, I work extra shifts, I pray every day—but my heart feels like a withered leaf. What do I do now when the loneliness becomes a physical ache in my chest?

Am I just a machine meant to sustain everyone else, only to be left empty at the end of the day? I don't want to complain, because I know many others have it harder, but I am tired. I am so tired of being strong for everyone. Please, tell me I am not invisible to You.

Your son who feels lost, Junjun