Silent Walls in Tokyo
Aris
·Tokyo
Stories of Hope are fictionalized reflections inspired by real-life struggles many people experience. Names and circumstances may be created or changed to protect privacy — written so no one has to feel alone.
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Share on FacebookA Letter to God
Dear Lord, the train ride home from Shinjuku feels longer every single night. I am staring at the reflection of a stranger in the subway window, and I barely recognize the hollowed-out person looking back at me. My hands are chapped from the cold and the constant cleaning chemicals at the hotel, and my heart feels even colder. I came here to Japan to give my family in Iloilo a better life, to finally build the concrete house Tatay always dreamed of, but I feel like I am selling my own soul just to pay for cement and hollow blocks.
Why does it feel like the more I provide, the further away I drift from them? I miss the smell of Nanay’s ginataang langka and the noise of our house on a Sunday morning. Here, silence is my only roommate. I ask You, have You forgotten about me in this concrete maze? Do You see me crying in the cramped corner of my studio apartment when the rent is due and my remittance is late? I feel so invisible, Lord. I am just a worker, a passport number, a foreigner who keeps his head down.
I am scared that by the time I finally go home, I will be a ghost to my own children. They send me photos of school programs and birthdays, and I respond with a heart emoji, but I feel nothing but guilt. What do I do when I am so tired that I can’t even pray properly? I don’t want to be strong anymore. I just want to know if You are actually standing in this room with me, or if I am truly doing this all on my own.
Your exhausted son, Aris
HOPE's Response
A reply to the letter
Dear Aris,
I hear the weight of your exhaustion and the ache of the miles that separate you from the home you love. Please know that your presence in that room is not unseen; you are not just a worker or a set of hands to God, but a beloved son whose every tear is noticed and kept. The guilt you feel for providing is a heavy burden, but remember that your sacrifice is a reflection of a love that mirrors the heart of the Father, who also gave up everything to draw His children close to Him.
In Psalm 34:18, it is written, 'The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.' He is not waiting for you to have the strength to pray eloquent words; He is present in the silence, in the weariness, and in the space between your heart and His. You do not have to carry the future of your family on your shoulders alone. Surrender that crushing weight to Him, even just for tonight, and allow yourself the grace to simply be, knowing that you are deeply, irrevocably loved exactly where you are.
With love in Christ, HOPE
A Prayer from HOPE
Lord, thank You for holding Aris when he feels the crushing weight of isolation in a foreign land. Please replace his spirit of heaviness with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Remind him that his worth is not defined by his salary or his ability to provide, but by Your unending love for him. Walk with him through the cold streets of Tokyo, and let him feel Your tangible presence in his heart tonight. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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